Of all responsibility articles of mine, here´s a favorite! Nobody else will save your life, not even Dr. Phil. YOU are responsible for everything in your life!
Self-reliance is not something you are born with. Wise parents teach their children to be responsible and blame-free people. If they learn this ability from an early age, they will not expect others to do everything for them. Because let´s be honest, a huge source of conflict is disappointment derived from somebody else´s failure to meet your expectations. So if you remove the expectations, there will be no disappointment. Just as this responsibility article points out, if you do not have the will to change your situation, nobody or nothing in the world will do it for you. In order for things to change - you have to change.
Have you ever tried to help a friend in a desperate situation? You turned yourself inside-out to assist and sort out things, only to realize that the person in question didn´t really want to change in the first place! Don´t be foolish. Be realistic. Real change only comes when a person is taking responsibility. Has the ability to respond. Of all responsibility articles, this one is an eye-opener. Enjoy and apply.
More responsibility articles will be added here over time.
Dr Phil Will Save Your Life! (Or Will He?)
Your kids behave like monsters. Or at least that is how you perceive it.
Your spouse is not responsible. That is your point of view.
Your mother-in-law interferes. Does she, really?!
And your boss is bossy. What did you expect?
And you? Well, you have no part in this do you? You are a victim of unpleasant people and circumstances. True?
All those problems building up. They rob your energy and they make you sick. What is your reaction and immediate response? Don´t you wish there was a Dr. Phil around that would solve all of your problems for you? He always identifies the problem and finds a solution that works, right?
Right or not, I am not to say. I do notice however, that most of us have a tendency to search for something outside ourselves as we look for solutions to our problems. We so badly want someone else to fix our lives for us.
Service companies offer to handle a million daily chores; to clean your house, to repair your car, to babysit, to paint your fence, to do your laundry and to buy and deliver your groceries for you. "Smart houses" have refrigerators that indicate when you have run out of food-stuffs, sensors take care of the automated lighting, tumble drying and central heating. Gradually we are being taught to throw the responsibility on other people and objects. Accordingly, when we encounter difficulties in life, we love to believe that Dr. Phil or another professional will sort it out for us.
But when it comes to our own mental garbage there is no outsourcing. We have to take out our own garbage, like it or not. Dr. Phil will not do that for you. Although it is possible to gain knowledge and inspiration from books, audios and shows by skilled therapists, it is not likely that they or anybody else will remove or solve your problems. You have to do that yourself!
Where do we start from there?
Firstly by recognizing that we are 100% responsible for our own lives. You may not like the idea at first, but the truth is that we are the creators of our own destiny, good or bad. Accepting this rather profound statement means that you cannot blame others for your failures anymore. And naturally that can be pretty scary.
Secondly, most of us habitually have an ongoing negative dialogue with ourselves. A great deal of that internal chatter concerns disclaiming responsibility, in other words, blaming others for unpleasant things in our lives. Our ego loves to convince us that we have been unfairly treated by our parents, kids, spouse, mother-in-law, boss, friends, neighbors, God, life etc. As a result, the constant denial of responsibility convinces us that we are victims of circumstances.
Thirdly, the realization and acceptance of the fact that we are the creators of our own thoughts is tremendously powerful! The brilliant motivator Dr. Wayne Dyer points out that "the ancestor to every single action is a thought". You cannot act upon anything before producing a thought about it. And since you and only you are the creator of your thoughts, it is possible to alter your thinking to produce a more desirable outcome! This is a powerful and life changing insight. You will experience a great sense of power when you realize that no other person has the power to affect you negatively, that you decide what goes on in your mind. Ultimately, whether you will experience pleasure or pain. What fantastic freedom!
Finally, what is the catch? Well, if you are determined to be a victim and continue to blame everyone but yourself for big or small obstacles in life, not even 10 years of private counseling sessions with Dr. Phil will save you. On the other hand, if you assume responsibility and decide to control your thoughts, you can be your own Dr. Phil if you like and let truly remarkable things happen in your inner and outer realities!
Responsibility articles naturally connect to other areas of personal development. Taking responsibility for your own life is a huge step in the right direction.
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