In our modern world we are used to quick fixes. Most of us avoid personal responsibility like the plague. It is much more convenient to blame other people whenever something goes wrong. And expect them to sort out your problems. But not even Dr. Phil will fix your life....
Listen to kids arguing; "I didn´t do it!", "HE did it!", "It´s not MY fault!". Children can be excused to a certain degree, but if nobody teaches them to be responsible for their own actions, the pattern will most likely continue as they grow older. And in adult life it is not excusable or cute anymore. Lack of personal responsibility is the root of a great deal of conflict in this world.
It really raises the question:
What is responsibility?
Consequently, children who are taught that they need to take the consequences of their actions, have an excellent foundation in life. In a situation of conflict, just imagine people saying "I did it, don´t blame her/him. I was wrong." Being brave and a person of principle breeds respect and trust. Blaming others and escaping from responsibility breeds contempt and distrust.
For a long time I looked for a word that described the opposite of "loser". A useful word, most widely used probably, is "winner". And to a certain degree it is apt, but I would also like to add the responsibility aspect to the word. The opposite of a loser is a person who assumes personal responsibility for everything in their life.
Imagine a world where everybody says "I want a better life, and I´ll make sure I get it", instead of the pathetic, irresponsible and far more common "I want a better life, but I´m too poor, I´m too weak, I´m a woman, I´m a man, I´m a loser, I haven´t got the education, I´m overweight, I haven´t got the connections, my family is holding me back..." An endless list of excuses.
Ask yourself if the things in your list of excuses really are true. The honest answer always is "No"! Nobody else will fix your life for you. Believing that is a guaranteed set-up for disappointment, anger and conflict.
Taking responsibility means the opposite of
that: pleasure, joy and harmony.
Remind yourself to try it next time you are tempted to blame somebody else for situations you do not like. Say "I am 100% responsible for everything in my life." And accept the outcome.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
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